Home » Non-Geek Humor
- The Bill of Rights isn't perfect, but it's better than what we have now.
- The death rate is still one per person.
- Honk if you love peace and quiet.
- Duct tape is The Force. It has a dark side, and a light side, and it binds the Universe together.
- If we increase the size of the penguin until it is the same height as the man and then compare the relative brain size, we now find that the penguin's brain is still smaller. But, and this is the point, it is larger than it was. (Monty Python)
- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
- Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
- Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
- Give me ambiguity, or give me something else!
- Madness takes its toll. Please have correct change.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
- The more you beat a dead horse, the flatter it gets.
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- A pharmacist is just a bartender with a more extensive inventory.
- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
- I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather, not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
- When there's a will, I want to be in it!
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
- There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
- Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice Doggie!!!" till you can find a rock.
- Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way.
- Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will do.
- How many existentialists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolized a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
- 24 hours in a day... 24 beers in a case... Coincidence?