Home » Geek Humor
- A week of coding can sometimes save an hour of thought.
- There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works.
- Producing software from a specification is like walking on water - it's easier if it's frozen.
- In software development, mediocrity thrives on standardization.
- I acknowledge the existence of a higher power, and have therefore installed surge suppressors.
- John von Neumann: Young man, in mathematics you don't understand things, you just get used to them.
- IBM is for people who can't handle reality. Drugs are for people who can't handle IBM.
- Mu is the sound a Greek cat makes.
- "A distributed system is one in which I cannot get something done because a machine I've never heard of is down" - Leslie Lamport
- All that glitters has a high refractive index.
- Entropy isn't what it used to be.
- Sign in an inn: Heisenberg may have slept here.
- A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
- All computers wait at the same speed.
- 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
- A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. When the bartender brings it, the neutron says "How much?" The bartender replies "For you, no charge."
- Two protons run into each other. One says "Hey, I think I lost an electron!" The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
- Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall... nothing but 'Net.
- When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
- A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
- Photons have mass? I didn't know they were catholic!
- When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero.
- There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
- A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house. The physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate.". The biologist's conclusion: "They have reproduced". The mathematician: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be empty again."
- An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are shown a pasture with a herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest possible amount of fence. The engineer is first. He herds the sheep into a circle and then puts the fence around them, declaring, "A circle will use the least fence for a given area, so this is the best solution." The physicist is next. She creates a circular fence of infinite radius around the sheep, and then draws the fence tight around the herd, declaring, "This will give the smallest circular fence around the herd." The mathematician is last. After giving the problem a little thought, he puts a small fence around himself and then declares, "I define myself to be on the outside!"